I once fell off a treadmill. Hit emergency stop, you say? It. Did. Not. Work. Despite losing all the skin on my shins, I still refused to let go for fear of being propelled at a high speed at the bikes behind me. Luckily, the treadmill finally stopped and I regained my composure but never my pride. Thankfully, this was before smartphones. Others aren't so lucky.
1. Oopsy daisy, talk about messing up on the job...
When you make a wee mistake like, say, letting a prisoner free by accident. I definitely don't envy the officer who messed that one up...or the person who ends up finding this guy!
2. Why buy the coffee when you can get the Wi-Fi for free?
Ain't no shame in this game...or is there? As far as I'm concerned, if I pay five plus dollars for a cup of flavored syrup and burnt coffee, that should guarantee me at least half a day of Wi-Fi!
3. Just glad it's not the condoms aisle
Note to self: wear platform shoes to the grocery store. I'll admit it, I've done this. However, I never sunk so low as to put my grimy flip-flops on the bread shelf! Don't disrespect the carbs!
4. When you think you're hot stuff but you're memed instead
Welcome to the friend zone, son. When I see this picture, I always wonder what this kid's doing now. Did he peak at internet meme fame or did he go on to do some high-tech algorithm job at Facebook or Google? Wherever he is, I'm sure his life is better than mine...
5. When you let a dad joke fly
GET IT? GUYS, GET IT?!
If you don't get it — because I sure didn't at first — he's got a case of the Mondays. My jokes are far from good, but even I know this is just shameful.
6. I know, I know. Ri-Ri can do no wrong, but...
When you're Rihanna but even you don't know if you can pull off this look... Also can we just agree that this looks like a pile of those paper bits that always fall out of the hole puncher?
7. "Dad, those aren't mine. I was holding them for someone."
When your dad has a bone to pick with you...
This dog is clearly in it for more than recreational use. He probably sells to all his doggy friends. The dog park is no longer a safe place...
8. Pooch pampering gone wrong...very wrong
"Let's have a spa day," she said. "It'll be fun," she said. Don't worry, I hear pink is very in this season.
9. Grandma shaming — not cool, bro
When you have enough time to start a Twitter account based on things you can put on your granny's head... But hey, maybe she's in it for the fame too!
10. Too much tequila, dawg
When you do too much day drinking and your friends all take pics of you passed out...
This has happened to most of us too many times. Unfortunately, we never look as cute as this little fluff when it happens.
11. What peanut butter? Oh, the jar is empty? Weird, don't know anything about that...
When you're caught red-handed but you still try to lie... I used to steal my roommate's peanut butter on the weekly, so let's just say I have more in common with this dog than I'd like to admit.
12. When you're ready to have a one-night stand but can't find your bed
"Nah, I think I'm good. Super tired all of a sudden." But honestly, if your room looks like this, you probably don't need to come up with an excuse. As soon as your date saw this, they were longggg gone.
13. Ramen fail. Do NOT let Gordon Ramsay see this...
Whoever said ramen was the easiest meal clearly didn't understand this kid's struggle, which I can only assume is forgetting to add the water...
14. When you know you messed up but don't even have enough pride to hide
Self-loathing can start in 3, 2, 1...
"I'm sorry I destroyed the house, I just missed you" is NOT an acceptable excuse.
15. Apparently, this horrid thing is a British invention...
To which I say, how dare they! The fact this wasn't made in America brings me great shame and dishonor. I suppose the British gave us Harry Potter and Micheal Fassbender, so we can forgive them.
16. You've heard of the cone of shame
In this office, if you ask a dumb question, they put the box on you. It's tear-resistant. Let me tell you, I'd be wearing that thing from nine to five.
17. Just a typical night out for me
Luckily, you're facing the wall, so there's no worry about making direct eye contact with anyone. Actually, there's no shame in this at all. Heck, this is my ideal date!
18. Someone's not a fan of cat food
Who wants to eat the same thing every single day anyway? I'm not a broke college student... anymore...
I don't know what this guy got into, but that stain's not coming out anytime soon.
19. I've made this exact same mistake
EXACT. SAME. MISTAKE. I once had a five-minute conversation with someone I thought was my roommate only to realize it was the cut-out of Zach Galifianakis we keep in our basement...don't ask...
It's okay, buddy. You tried.
20. The Roomba's betrayal
I trusted you! You get to your corner and think about what you did. We are not on speaking terms anymore. Actually, clean up this mess, and then get back into the corner!
21. When bae says they're giving up carbs
Don't fret, pizza. There are plenty of people who would gladly give you a chance. I have like five different pizzas in my phone just waiting for a late-night booty call.
22. Selfie shame syndrome is real
"Oh...hey, I was just stretching...you know, loosening up the ol' hamstrings..."
And it was so gangsta, right down to the dirty, rolled-up piece of bathroom tissue...
23. "Why are we all wearing signs, guys?"
"Oh. Oh I see. You really didn't have to put me on blast like this. Honestly, I didn't put a sign on you that one night you came home and thew up in the laundry basket..."
24. And finally, are we really this lazy?
I know, it sucks getting sticky hands and the peel stuck under your nails, but is this really worth paying three times the money for a piece of fruit someone's hands have been all over?
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