Sunday, January 21, 2018

16 People With Absolutely Zero Chill

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There are two types of people in the world. First, there's the kind that can calmly react to situations, get through a holiday commercial without sobbing hysterically, and don't overanalyze every character of every text message. And then? Well, and then there's the rest of us. When it comes to being "chill," you either have it or you don't, and for those of us who don't, it helps to know that we're not alone. These people will 100% make you feel better the next time you freak out because Starbucks spelled your name wrong. Again. 

1. The guy who will do anything for the perfect Instagram. 

All's fair in love and likes. 

2. The mom who forgot about Amazon Prime. 

There are fifty better ways to discreetly buy that book. 

3. Every high schooler's promposal that'll be more elaborate than any of my future weddings.

When did 16-year-old boys become so romantic? 

4. Literally all of us in traffic. 

IT'S FINE. I'M FINE. I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO GET TO MY DESTINATION!!!! 

#6 is the dream for anyone who has a work frenemy. 

5. The mom who unapologetically loves hot sauce. 

When you've found the perfect sauce, you can never, ever let it go. Even if you have to smuggle it in an old bottle just to have it. 

6. Jim and Dwight's entire relationship. 

"Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!"

7. Any of us the moment when our only friend at the party goes to the bathroom and leaves us alone.

"Oh. Hi. Hello. Nice to meet you. So, what's your relationship with your father like?"

8. Every person in the world the moment someone attractive talks to their S.O.

He shouldn't have friends who are hot. Or female. Or hot females. 

If you're not #9, you're a dirty rotten liar. 

9. All of us who know that the best season is decked out in orange and black. 

Can't it be September 1st AKA Halloween again already?

10. When you know he's done his time, but you're not ready to end his sentence yet. 

"Yeah, I know you're sorry, but what about that time you said I was cute but not pretty? Huh?"

11. Anytime a Snapchat is opened but not responded to. 

So, what? Does our relationship just mean nothing to you?

12. The mastermind behind this card.  

We get it. Your loved one died. Life never bothered them anyway.

#16 is about as savage as it gets. 

13. Everything about Ross. 

If you haven't been Rachel in that situation, you can't sit with us. 

14. All of us the second things start to heat up in the kitchen.

Just don't forget the crème fraîche!

15. Dr. Applebaum.

You gon learn today, Kelly. 

16. Anyone who just got dumped and has a closet full of their ex's clothes. 

If he doesn't want me, I guess he doesn't want the expensive leather jacket he forgot at my house, either. 

17. This guy who didn't even DM her.

DEAD.

18. This gf who has trust issues.

To be fair, I'd be suspicious too.

19. Mom.

She literally set a fire to get Dad's attention.

20. This woman who, upon being informed she couldn't take her vodka on her flight, started throwing it back at 7:30 a.m. 

...And offering it to other passengers.

21. Whoever thought this was a good idea.

I'm pretty sure that's a biohazard... *sips tea*

22. This literal savage.

It's a twist-off, man!

23. This guy dissing Becky with the good hair.

He couldn't leave it alone.

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