Sometimes, when I try and smile, I can feel the hot hands of Satan pulling down on either side of my mouth reminding me I am, unbeknownst to me, in Hell.
(Don't become a writer, kids. Life gets inexplicably dark.)
Anywho...
I thought I'd do some research on how to be happy in spite of the reign of terror that is life!
1) Go outside more.
2) Delete Twitter.
3) Volunteer at a donkey or goat sanctuary (it's impossible to be sad around either).
4) Move to the woods. Far away from people. Amazon delivers everywhere — you'll be fine.
5) Be naked 96% of the time.
Please post your personal experiences with my technique on the Diply Facebook page. That'd be great.
1. Seems like a reasonable way to spend an afternoon.
2. There is always time to throw up afterwards.
3. It's, uh, sleeping...yeah...definitely just sleeping.
4. The T-Rex is decidedly NOT positive, but the human is and that's cool.
5. ...I used to be happy.
6. If George can keep it together, so can I.
7. I mistook her liking my status as a "move." Now I have a restraining order filed against me. #DoIStillHaveAChance
8. And that's how you stay positive, keep friends and remain employed.
9. A poor man's DIY car repair.
10. I'm a balding man with a beard and I don't sing. I don't have an excuse.
11. "I'm stuck and scared just like you were in your 20s. But I'm still smiling!"
12. Isn't the cool factor on everyone raised by adding Ray Bans and a pencil mustache?
13. "I'm crying on the inside but I made a promise to be happy."
14. If I had feelings, they'd say something like "aww" right now.
15. Someone should probably tell...on second thought, no. Let him believe in immaculate conception.
16. When you missed the super moon but have a fear of missing out.
17. "Okay...I'm trying not to freak out, but you know I'm claustrophobic."
18. Hey, on the bright side, your get to play on a pretty sweet jungle gym!
Collage images via FunnyJunk / mikolarian
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