Parents Were Making Fun Of Her Son During A Rugby Game, So She Wrote This Open Letter

I remember once reading a little blip on the internet about judging and how we see other people. It was basically saying that what we first think when we see a person and how we might judge them is not a reflection on us but on our environment and what society has taught us. A true judge of our own character is if and when we realize that our first opinion of someone is unkind or presumptuous. We can't help having these first thoughts that are full of judgement, but if we can acknowledge that it is not a thought we would like to encourage or nourish, we can slowly change. 

Not everyone is so mindful of their thoughts, and soon those thoughts become words that can hurt deeply. It's not just children and young people. It is adults — mothers, fathers, and grandparents — who are judging children and each other and forgetting to watch what they say. We are not masters of our thoughts, but we can control which direction they go in and whether or not we speak them aloud. This is how one mother fought back at the parents who spoke their hurtful words about her son, and she is reminding us to be more thoughtful of what we say.

Rochelle Mara was standing on the sidelines of her son's rugby game.

The other parents were laughing at one of the boys on the field who happened to be bigger. They were saying he was slowing down the team, so Rochelle asked who they were talking about. They pointed to number 8: her son, 10-year-old son Eljae.

She wrote an open letter to those parents and posted it on Facebook.

"Dear Parents on the Sideline,

"Number 8, Eljae. My boy. The one you so freely stood on the sideline this morning laughing at. The one you were talking about being a 'Big boy' and not 'an asset to the team.' The one you laughed at for not being able to run as fast as your kid. Obviously not [realizing] I, his mother, was standing right next to you listening to everything you were saying - Until I told you. Ha! You couldn't move to the other side of the field fast enough.

"Can I just remind you, Eljae is out there training with his TEAM twice a week, he turns up every weekend to play alongside his TEAM, the same team your kid plays for!

"Eljae is out there on that field supporting your son in the game just as I'm out on that sideline supporting them - your son included! I'm all for having your own opinions and freedom of speech but when you use this right to talk **** about my son please don't expect me to stand there and take it. Be glad he didn't hear it himself.

"For a kid [who's] never played rugby prior to 4 weeks ago, he's doing a damn good job and I tell him this every week.

"He does not need to hear your negativity. He, nor any of the other boys/girls, need to hear you talking down about them, so please - for the love of Beyonce - stand there on that sideline along with the rest of us parents and support OUR boys and girls! ALL OF THEM. Win or lose. It's a game. They're all out there playing the best they can. Number 8 included."

The last thing Rochelle expected was for her post to be shared over 10,000 times! One of those people sharing it was professional rugby player Liam Messam of New Zealand's All Blacks...

Liam Messam added this caption: "We need to be there to support our kids not tear them down. #ourfuture #ledkidsbekids #igotuEljae" to the post.

The mom from New Zealand has seen support flood in from all over the world, including Singapore, Canada and South Africa.


"I was absolutely blown away with people congratulating me for speaking up, offering love and support and sharing their own stories with me," said Rochelle.

Rochelle spoke to the coaches and managers about the incident, who were very supportive and told her no parents would be singled out.

"I didn't want them to feel like they couldn't bring their child back to the team. That would only be taking away from the child and I want nothing more than for this kid to have the same opportunities as Eljae in the game."

The team also had a meeting for the parents to talk about expectations and behavior on the field.

This is Eljae's first time playing rugby on a team, and many of the other players are new.

Rochelle hadn't shown Eljae the post at first, so he had no idea what comments had been made. But after things blew up, she decided to let him see the letter and the supportive comments. "He, too, was blown away and could not wipe the smile from his face knowing now that so many people were proud of him for getting out there and giving it a go!"

"The support from here in New Zealand and all over the world has just been overwhelming."

"Both myself and Eljae will forever be grateful for the love and support we've received over the past few days. Words don't even begin to describe."

Main image via Facebook / Rochelle Mara

Collage image via Facebook / Rochelle Mara