Tuesday, December 8, 2015

19 People Who Have Perfected Being Lazy

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Humans are hardwired to be lazy. It's what makes us innovate. Just think of all the wonderful things that have come out of our desire to exert less effort: the automobile, the microwave, spellcheck, dry shampoo, and of course, the ultimate gift of sloth, Netflix. 

So when you see the people in this list, don't think of them as indolent, worthless pieces of trash, but as pioneers cultivating an environment of ingenuity that will only improve the human condition.  

1. The popcorn feeding trough

You know when you reach for a handful of popcorn and a few pieces escape your fat fist on the way to your mouth? It's a terrible feeling, which is why this man has removed the need to reach all together. He can literally just stick his face in the popcorn and start munching. 

2. This guy who only cleared off only what was absolutely essential

As you drive, it will fall off onto someone else's car, and then it's their problem.

3. This person who did not want to wash their plate

Less waste than paper plates. Probably.

4. The guy who refused to walk the aisles at Walmart

But why not just sit on your motorized shopping cart instead of standing on your hover board?

5. This genius gas pumper

Because the worst thing about filling up isn't the price of gas — it's getting out of your car.

6. This is an example of the sheer beauty of simple genius

When I lie by a pool, I often feel torn between being as lazy as possible and getting as drunk as possible. This is the solution. 

7. I have only the highest hopes for this generation

They will be the ones to end poverty and global warming. As long as there is an app for that. 

8. My kind of parenting

Right now, they're just a plate rest, but if you train them right, as they grow older, you could have a personal slave!

9. Because goddamn if that knife isn't a pain in the ass to use

Now you don't have to choose between laziness and copious amounts of butter. You can have both. 

10. This guy who figured out how to make phone calls a little less painful 

Because there is always that person who talks for so long that your hand goes numb

11. The beer can garbage chute. 

Just because you're lazy, it doesn't mean you have to be a total slob.

12. Another wonderful way to not do dishes

You know when everything in the dishwasher is dirty and the sink is so full that you can't even turn on the tap? That's why aluminum foil was invented.

13. This person who's got garbage day all figured out

The walk from house to curb is a long one.

14. Sitting up while eating is for the foolish

Technically, this isn't lazy, because he is playing the Wii. 

15. Standing while urinating? No thank you!

This is especially helpful if, like most lazy people, your pee spans over a minute as a result of holding it for so long because you didn't want to walk to the bathroom.

16. This person who figured out how to have a beer opener available at their beck and call 

Do not make the mistake of trying this with a cat instead of a dog, because you'll have to get a can opener out just to get the beer opener to come to you, and then what's the point?

17. Any type of baking that requires me to preheat the oven is too much work

It's the thought that counts, right?

18. Like I said before, avoid preheating at all costs

Why would you go to the trouble of getting out a tray and opening the oven when you could just do this?

19. A genius nap hack for traveling

This is also great if you're just sick of holding your head up throughout the day.

Main image via reddit / MitchConor 

Collage images via 1. Instagram / @bertbondy 2. reddit / Sewsweetlady 3. reddit / iseeyoustandingthere

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Author: verified_user

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