I'm Not Kidding When I Say Netflix Is Bae

I guess I've kind of always felt that there aren't enough hours in the day, but it's definitely easy to feel that way when you can spend eight hours blowing through a series. And it gets worse when you actually have stuff to do aside from that because then life is disrespecting us by interrupting all the important things we're doing.

I mean, I guess it's kind of considerate of it not to ask what these important things are, but that's not the point.

The point is that we have a sacred bond with the things that entertain us, and that's a bond that needs to be respected and nourished or else it can't flourish. That rhymed, so that's how you know I'm right.

So let's explore that relationship in all its splendors and rough patches.

1. But through that, we also learn to overcome it and fill ourselves with acceptance and forgiveness.

OK, so basically we got hungry again and just filled ourselves with more food, but I think the first one sounds better.

2. Haha, I feel like one of these days, people are gonna answer the phone with that instead of "hello?"

Nah, I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm talking about here. The idea of people still calling instead of texting in the future is way too far-fetched.

3. And all this time, we had no idea how we were making the TV feel.

It never asked to get caught up in all of this. It just wanted to share the gift of SpongeBob.

4. Well, I guess it feels kinda like a relationship when you finish one.

You laugh, you cry, it disappoints you, it makes you fall for it all over again, and you're not quitesure what to do with yourself when it's over.

5. Yeah, just existing would be a pretty good start at this point.

We can worry about the backpacks full of Irn-Bru (hey, these are supposed to be my faves, right?) after we get to that part.

6. Hey, I'm just happy to not be the least responsible one.

See, I know that ain't me because I don't have a dog. Well, that and I've probably never met whoever made this.