That doesn't mean I'm not curious about the outrageous "problems" in their life. In fact, they can keep all their money and power if they just give me a glimpse into their life every now and then. I look at rich people problems the same way I look at the problems of poor, malnourished people I see on TV commercials: I'm curious even though I never want to experience it. Does that make sense?
It doesn't have to. This is my brain making sense to me.
Anyway, let's have a giggle, shall we? Rich people problems you and I will NEVER understand!
1. Let me pencil that in under "things I'll never need to know."
2. Is getting mad at slow rickshaw drivers the same in a Ferarri as it is in my mid-2000s Corolla?
3. Scout out the rich vs. poor areas with two easy Google Maps searches.
4. You know what my bed does? Doesn't squeak.
5. Maids are for the 10%. Self-cleaning toilets are 1% perks.
6. My bicycle doesn't have rear-view mirrors, so I'll chalk that up as a win for lower-middle class folks.
7. She continues to work just to continue to be able to take this picture.
8. Meanwhile, I smell like chlorine and pee from my day at the public swimming pool.
9. "Do you have a 9?"
10. Let me repost this to my social media as I suck back $0.99 ramen noodles and a Dr. Pibb.
11. "Whoa! You didn't buy a knockoff Apple charger after you lost your old one? What was it like to spend $80 on a battery?"
12. "My champagne doesn't fit in my condo's recycling bins."
13. Having a cat butler photoshoot with some $100 bills you have lying around.
14. I held a stack of Pokémon cards that big once. I felt like I had power then.
15. I guarantee, just outside this arena, there is a homeless person wearing very similar boots but without the stench of douche.
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