You get large, it's hard to sleep, and you pee when you sneeze (something that doesn't go away even after you've given birth). Why do we do it?
Oh right, babies!
Also, literally every species on earth does it, and some of them have it way worse than we do. So, in case you are still harboring ill-wishes towards the OB/GYN who wasn't yours but happened to be on call and ask you at the least opportune time whether med students could witness your birth (not cool, clearly nothing is worth caring about mid-contraction but you most definitely would not have consented to 13 children with clipboards ogling your bajingo two weeks ago) just remember, it could have been SOOOO much worse, but it wasn't because you are human.
Cat
Kittens are adorable, but if you've ever held one you know they can't control their itty-bitty razor-sharp claws, and they squirm like crazy. Wouldn't want a whole bunch of those hanging out for months inside my belly.
Plus, the idea of that many births and no epidural?
Be thankful you are not a pregnant cat. That's all I have to say.
Snake
Probably doesn't seem legit because you, like me, might wonder, "don't snakes lay eggs?" Well, apparently, Boa constrictors and green anacondas "give birth to live young with no eggs involved at any stage of development." Because obviously there has to be some sort of natural correlation between the deadliness of the snake and the creepiness of the birth.
This is both terrifying and disgusting.
When you have your own little bundle of human joy you can't wait to hold it! This I wouldn't be able to wait to get away from.
Muntjac deer
Muntjac deer are smaller than your average deer and "Britain's most dangerous and destructive deer," which sounds hilarious because they're adorable but sneaky little things and sometimes called Barking Deer because they bark like dogs!
Muntjac deer gestate for seven months (jealous!)
And they have no breeding season so they'll have kids any time of the year — just like people. But with bony little limbs and hooves, I wouldn't trade even for two months less of pregnancy.
Raccoon
So raccoon's aren't exactly everybody's favorite animal.
But their babies are sure cute!
They feel like brillo pads and they smell like garbage, but they're still cute.
Turtle
While this image is pretty amazing, remember that it would suck to be a turtle, and she's going to have five little ones who move even slower than your toddler who wants to get his shoes on all by himself.
It's like she knows.
Run, turtle, run!
Dog
This Alaskan Malamute was carrying a much larger litter than the typical five or six puppies. Had this been taken with a regular veterinary x-ray only a few would have been seen, but luckily this was taken with a digital x-ray machine.
The same face I would make if I had more than one fetus at a time.
But then again, puppies!
Guinea Pig
I had a guinea pig as a child. They're not exactly the most fun pets. This x-ray basically sums them up.
They're awkward.
They pee on you every time you pick them up. Their bodies were not well designed for much of anything at all. And they smell horrible.
Cute fuzzy face, though.
Cute fuzzy face, though.
Kiwi bird
This egg takes up basically the entire bird. Everyone who sees this is probably thinking the exact same thing: "Above is an x-ray of a pregnant kiwi. I think it's pretty clear that the bird can't eat, drink, poop, or even breathe while that monster is in the pipe. It's science."
Thank goodness this bird only has one at a time.
For one thing, they literally could not fit another one in there, but really, it looks like it can barely manage flying solo (get it? no wings!) nevermind while parenting.
Tiger Shark
Yes, technically this is not an X-ray. It's a sonogram — the only sonogram — of shark babies.
And that's good enough.
Seriously, I think we can all just be satisfied with that — there is no need to go back and ever try to get another one. Way too dangerous!
Elephant
As if you needed reasons to prefer being pregnant with a human baby over being pregnant with an elephant baby:
1. Elephants are pregnant for 22months!
2. Baby African elephants weigh 200 lb. at birth!
3. Elephants give birth every two to four years from the time they are 20 years old until they are 50!
1. Elephants are pregnant for 22months!
2. Baby African elephants weigh 200 lb. at birth!
3. Elephants give birth every two to four years from the time they are 20 years old until they are 50!
That doesn't mean we can't love them!
Just because I'd never want to birth a baby elephant certainly doesn't mean I'd never want to cuddle one!
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