The favorite relative AND friend of the hordes of internet shut-ins everywhere. Ah, I didn't intend to crap on people that love cats so early in this article. I love cats too. I mean, they're jackasses, there's no doubt about that, but I do enjoy their shenanigans. Cats are wildcards in the most mysterious way. Like, one second a cat's sleeping on your stomach, the next it's picking a fight with the drawstring on your shorts. Why? No one really knows, but that's part of their charm.
Another thing cat owners can relate to: Cats sitting on and in random objects. It's hilarious. It's mildly irritating, especially when you have work to do and the warmth of the laptop combined with a sudden need for your affection makes work near impossible. But it's still hilarious. SO hilarious, how about an entire article with cats sitting on THINGS!
1. Sits where you don't want it to sit. Expects your help when it needs to get down.
2. Cats that sit on anything, meet cats that sit like humans.
3. Don't move or I'll knead your neck.
4. "Two more margaritas, Jerry. I had a long week."
5. They'll fall a sleep like this. But lay comfortably on your lap? Forget it.
6. I willblock out the sun, human. And because I'm a cat you will not punish me in any way.
7. "I have taken the child hostage. His seat has now become my throne."
8. "Any moment, I too will birth an egg."
9. "Does it look like I care about your scoliosis, nerd? Stay hunched.
10. "What's worse? Me sitting on your puzzle or realizing this puzzle doesn't have the missing piece to your broken, lonely heart?"
11. "Your fat ass doesn't need more Pringles. Hit the treadmill...pet me first though....mmm...that's a good human."
12. "The grease feels so good on belly. Also, pineapples are delicious."
Editor's Note: Pineapples are gross and you're a monster.
13. You ever try to fit into a pair of jeans from five years ago? Yeah, well, this cat has.
14. I know it's cute and all, but does anyone else wanna fill the tea pot up with water and see what happens?
15. Been working on that body all winter. Time to shine.
16. "It's funny because I'm a cat. Not a fish. I kill fish."
17. "I'm glad we're both comfortable" –cat.
18. D-do I look pretty? Would you-uh, would you paint me...like one of your French girls?"
19. "Do you need this box? Come get it."
Collage images via 1. listal 2. Taringa 3. Twitter / @apike
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