In this confusing, mixed up world of ours, it's good to know there's still some sense to be made of it all. So today, whether we're looking at bits of advice, observations, or general "ohhh" moments.
We're gonna tell it like it is. At the end of the day, it's hard to argue with these pics!
1. He's not wrong.
Yeah, it really takes the edge off when your bully has to send their mean thoughts through the mail. You're the only one who can see it, and you can just toss it in the fireplace if it bothers you.
Plus, they'll probably give up when they realize they ran out of stamps.
2. A shocking revelation.
Especially when you've got two little faces making you even more nervous with their scared expressions.
You're not helping, guys!
3. Gotta download that one...wait.
But what if your dog also downloaded the app? Ack, there are so many unanswered questions here!
Like, sure, he may sayhe's smarter than me, but how do I know he's telling the truth?
4. Aliens!
Well, I guess that at least solves the mystery of why he seemed to get more and more smug over the years. I wonder if the last thing he's gonna say before he gets sucked into the mothership is "checkmate, nonbelievers!"
Ah, a man can dream, I suppose.
5. Of course he is!
He gets a little snippy when you try to taste him, though. Ugh, like, really? One little nibble and suddenly I'm the bad guy?
6. Spooky.
So if the fart is really horrible, does that mean the spirits are really vengeful? Man, dogs must really anger up the souls of everything they chow down on, then.
In that case, it's obviously the ghosts who are wrong because all doggos are good doggos.
7. Thank God they gave me the instructions!
Well now, this changes everything. No more washing my entire wardrobe every day for no reason, I can tell you that much.
I'm gonna save so much on my water bill now that I've got this helpful hint for cool kids. After all, I am first and foremost a cool kid.
8. Bruce Wayne? Or Homer Simpson?
Either way, I guess we can call him the hero we deserve. One guy beats up clowns and talks in a weird gravelly voice, the other drinks a lot and wants to do as little as possible.
I know which one I find more relatable.
9. Don't end up in a sticky situation.
At the same time, maybe it's not such a big deal. Sure, she keeps getting her fingers stuck together, but she always seems happy enough about it.
I'm not really sure who to believe here, if I'm being honest.
10. They're not clowning around.
Not to mention, this actually seems like a real possibility lately. Sure, the scary clown sightings have only involved one or two of them so far, but mark my words.
They're gonna organize someday, and when that happens, they're gonna be way past the point where they creepily offer us balloons.
11. Yeah, I'll just have them cold, thanks...
It sure is gonna be fun to tell other people to heat 'em up, though. Just because it would be gross if I tried to eat it doesn't mean it wouldn't be hilarious if someone else did.
I think we can apply that thinking to a lot of things in life.
12. Now that'sa warning sign.
I'd like to think that the first sign just made people wanna do it more so the city had to up the ante. I'm not sure what they're gonna do once people start bringing disguises before they pee, though.
...What, so I'm the only one who sees this turning into an arms race?
13. Science!
I'm sure this person was totally sober when they came up with this theory. That's why they had the craving for both Hot Pockets and grand theories of the universe, after all.
14. Absolutely true!
Not to worry, buddy, we have no problem at all believing you're convinced of that.
Actually, I'm not sure I really have a stake in this, because I legitimately can't remember the last time I ran in a hotel hallway.
Maybe I did in my more rambunctious days, but I usually find I'm too tired or drunk to bother anymore.
15. A fitting name.
I guess when you're that focused on hitting the cleanliness angle in your ads, you have to leave a couple of things out.
"Oh, and you'll never lose track of a papercut again either" kinda wrecks the flow, I suppose.
16. It'd work for me!
The laziest parts of me can only say, "Mommy I want it" when I look at this. Now I know how my parents felt whenever a toy commercial came on.
Oh well, at least this wouldn't make any of the annoying noises those things did.
17. Stop objectifying this object!
I don't know, I asked it and couldn't really get a straight answer out of it.
I think I'll play it cool and just subtly drop that term the next time we're in the same room and see what it does.
18. Let this one sink in for a minute...
Is it weird that I never actually questioned what that word was supposed to mean? I guess that seems like the best policy for slang in general, though.
After all, by the time you try to figure out what it means, it's already been replaced, so what's the point?
19. Speaking of language...
Wow, I'm learning so many interesting things today. Gotta say though, it's a good thing I didn't find this information when I was in school because this is what would be in my head instead of the answers.
Yeah, hearing "I didn't know that, but I do know you've just failed this exam" would get really old after a while.
20. The answers to everything!
Well, I guess that's only true if you can actually point to your answer.
On second thought, even if you can't, you can still get people to stop asking you stuff if these are your only answers.
21. I never knew these were functional.
Those grocery bags have been flying free and wild for too long. It's time they settled down and found some stability.
And what better way to teach it to them than something I've been ignoring my whole life?
22. You can't argue with that!
Haha, way to take a stand there, sign. Did "or it can be both, that's fine with us too" not make it past the first draft?
Either that or it once said the gate must be shut at all times, but Larry from the planning committee was all like "well, it has to open sometimes."
Yeah, thanks for the input, Larry.
23. Just in case you guys were curious about this book...
Well, I guess you can't accuse the book of false advertising. If I'm gearing up to read all about Tom Kitten, it better not switch to his lamer friend Larry the Lemming halfway through.
I hate it when that happens.
24. I don't know, guys. This seems like a pretty big ask.
Like, sure, I get why they wouldn't want me to clog it with weird objects and pets, but those hopes and dreams are coming out no matter what I do.
That's...kind of the whole problem, really.
25. I wanted to end on a beautiful observation from my two favorite movies of all time...
Just in case you were already unsatisfied with how Boba Fett went out, know also that it meant he and Vader could never be together again. Tragic.
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