Y'all know the routine: You scroll through this entire article with a slight smirk on your face as you think to yourself, "you know, my life ain't half bad compared to these intellectually stunted hominids." You're welcome.
After writing articles like these, I will admit that I'm pretty happy that things like Twitter and Facebook didn't exist during my childhood and (most of) my high school career. I said some cringe-worthy stupidity that to this day makes my brain ache when I think of how embarrassing the words coming out of my mouth were. I could only imagine how much worse my sinking self-esteem would be if the internet made a mockery of my derp moments.
Oh well, lucky me. Can't say the people in this article were as lucky though.
1. Don't waste your race cards. That's rich stuff, Hebrew Marcelin. Rich stuff.
2. Not sure if stupid or hilariously ironic ad campaign...
3. I wonder how embarrassed the parents of #WhiteBoy #TeamCute are...
4. Those fascists taking away our right to exorcise dogs...
5. Oh no! Someone stole $17.53 of your parents' money in your bank account
6. Blame yourself when he's 35 and living in your basement, afraid to cross streets on his own.
7. Wanna rage even more? She's allowed to vote.
8. Those things are still illegal in the gay community...I think?
9. *Licks lips* "Tastes a bit...nutty."
10. Your tattoos are stupid. Just like love. And kittens. And I'm bitter.
11. "I do things I think will make people like me more."
12. You had ONE chance to let her believe God's giant scissors would come down and circumcise Scotland from the England and you RUINED IT.
13. It says "Chris is typing." What did he say, you animals!? I must know.
14. Osman is expertly taking himself from the "potential mate" pile and flawlessly putting himself in the "friendzone pile."
15. No, it's spelled Niagara Falls.
16. I'm done. I'm out. Hope you enjoyed this cavalcade of cringe.
Collage image via Funny Junk
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