In the fast-paced world of dating, there's just no time to have a real connection without competing with the entire internet for your beloved's attention.
But we as humans are nothing if not an adaptable species, so we've devised a secret code to ensure we can communicate as efficiently as possible before the allure of our phones becomes too great.
Or at least it was a secret until I, in my boundless grace and wisdom, decided to crack the code for you. I obviously didn't just go on Urban Dictionary and look up random definitions without seeing if anyone actually uses them. So now that you've been granted this forbidden knowledge, you must learn to use it effectively.
I can't stress enough how super important it is that you brush up on these 16 dating terms that everyone totally uses.
Otherwise, not only will you not get a text back, but the coolness police will show up and whisk you off to the shadow realm. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.
1. Breadcrumbing.
This means to send a bunch of flirty messages that don't commit to anything but keep your suitors justinterested enough to give you time to decide whether you like them or not.
Don't worry if you've never heard of this one in your life because until now, it was only used in the secret meetings of the World Flirting Council.
2. IRL.
This clever acronym for "in real life" marks the moment where online flirting turns into in-person date.
You may have heard it used in other contexts, but these are all traps that people use to get the coolness police on you. Anyone who uses it for any reason besides dating should be treated with suspicion.
3. On a thing.
It means that you're just casually seeing someone, but you're not allowed to word it like that anymore. It doesn't matter that it's a much simpler way of getting your point across, you just can't.
I'm sorry, but abandoning it was our only option after the incident.
4. Layby.
This is someone who's OK to date for now but isn't worth not seeing other people for. If that sounds mean and dishonest, then congratulations, you understand why people don't use it much.
It's actually supposed to be yelled dramatically while your hair whooshes in the wind. Try screaming "am I just a layby to you?" into the mirror until it feels comfortable.
5. Q.
It's another term for cool. Like your new bae is Q or you're still Q after you break up. I know it seems like it just makes something that's already easy to say harder to understand, but that's dating for you.
6. R-bomb.
This is when the one you're chasing reads your message but just lets it lie without a reply. You might ask, "isn't that just called getting left on read?" and I guess that's true if you're OK with having the verbal version of the iPhone 4.
Pfft, it's obviously all about the R-bomb now.
7. Monkeying.
This is when you enter one relationship as soon as you left the last one, so it's like swinging from vine to vine. If this is your first time hearing it, that's because it's only used in the actual jungle, which everybody knows is the hottest romantic getaway.
8. E-Fit.
This is when you keep all your social media posts and photos so carefully appealing that they might as well be your Tinder profile. And now that know, the hardest part is finding a situation where this term doesn't apply.
It's so versatile and widely used that I don't know how you possibly could've missed it!
9. Thirst trap.
This term describes those little moments where you look really good in a pic but you wanna play it cool for Instagram so you make your post about how nice the beach is.
I mean, people are gonna leave thirsty comments no matter what's going on in the picture, but that doesn't mean we can downplay the dangers of thirst traps. It only takes one metaphorical water bottle on a fishing pole to change everything.
10. Jelly.
Just another word for jealous. If this makes you say, "finally, a word people actually use," then you obviously haven't been paying attention because people use all of these all the time.
I'm providing a valuable public service by telling you this.
11. Ghosting.
When everything seems to be going well until the one you want suddenly stops responding to your texts. "Oh hey, two right ones in a row," you might say.
"Oh hey, it's actually 11 in a row and you need to keep up," I say in response.
12. Zombieing.
If you've been ghosted but then the person suddenly decides to start talking to you again, they're zombieing. As you can see, the term is just as awkward to say as it is to experience. You don't have to thank me for that little shred of brilliance, these things just come to me.
13. Slow-fading.
Their haircut may be perfectly fast, but the way they're responding to your texts is getting slower and slower until they finally stop. So it's like a gradual ghosting, which to my eternal shame, is what I suggested calling it to the World Flirting Council.
14. Kray bae.
For those moments where you think you've found someone great but they turn out to be more unreasonable than you thought. "Hey, isn't that usually spelled with a C?" you might ask.
Well not today, kray bae.
15. Cuffing.
This might cause some confusion if handcuffs are what you're into, but it just refers to singles hooking up for the winter until the larger dating pool opens up again. I guess if we can't hibernate, this is the next best thing.
16. YODO.
"You only dump once," apparently. Uh...I mean, yes, that's what everyone says. There's absolutely no other way to interpret that, especially since people totally haven't gotten tired of YOLO yet.
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