The majestic beaver, of course. Canada's fiercely patriotic water rodent. And also a colloquial name for a vagina! But in this context, we'll be dealing with Canadians. The bearded, beautiful, rugged, annoyingly cheery, over-caffeinated upstairs neighbours of the United States of America. Sorry, that wasn't too over the top, was it? Forgive me. As a Canuck myself, I tend to get giddy when given the opportunity to write about my compatriots of the Great White North.
Here's the thing about Canadian stereotypes: we enjoy them. All of them. And even if we didn't, we wouldn't have the heart to admit it, anyway.
We are the ideal neighbors and we keep (most of) the bad weather for ourselves. Sorry.
So let's have at it, eh? 20 of the most Canadian things you'll ever see.
1. A puck landed in your poutine? With that kind of luck, you better drive to Timmies and get a Roll Up The Rim, because you're about to win one of those fancy Toyota Rav4s!
2. In the Canadian Rockies, there's a mountain with the heads and bodies of the 2014 Canadian bobsled team chiseled into it. Or there should be.
3. This is why you never feed the local moose. Not even once. No matter how cute they may look.
4. Terry's graduation picture. It's not a backdrop, it's just how classrooms look in Canada.
5. Canadian Tire (a massive box store that sells tires, camping gear, guns and Magic Bullets) built a fully functional truck from ice.
6. "Sorry the turnstile doesn't work, and sorry I wasn't here to collect your fare."
"No need to be sorry neighbour. Sorry I put you in a position where you thought you had to say sorry."
7. Listen, eh? If you don't get what this references, you're not my friend, guy.
8. Remember the time the ocean froze over and we played hockey on it? Canadians do.
9. I can't take credit for this caption, but someone titled this picture, "police brotality." Welcome to Canada.
10. "Is...is there a problem?"
11. You might ask yourself, "what does Canadian culture consist of?" To which I'd respond with this...
12. That time you heard Timmies was running out of coffee and didn't have time to brush off a light winter's dusting.
13. Ever heard of the Canadian tuxedo (blue jeans and a jean jacket)? This is the Canadian business suit.
14. FREEdom looks a bit different in the Great White North.
15. "So the moose looks at me and give me one of those 'wanna go, buddy?' looks. So I raced him." ... "Shoot yeah, I won!"
16. The closest things Canadians have to a tribal tattoo.
17. Canadian politicians Patrick Brazeau (Conservative) and Justin Trudeau (Liberal) once had a boxing match for charity. Trudeau is now the Prime Minister of Canada.
18. "It's so cozy walking between 14' walls of snow and ice."
19. Besides red and white, the unofficial third color (spelled "colour" up here) is wood.
20. And finally, why are we such cheery folks despite the barrage of snow and the very real possibility of being killed by a grizzly or cougar?
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