We live in an age where if we like someone, we add them to Facebook and creep them specifically to see what their social media self is like.
And because we do this, we know people (like parents, crushes, and employers) do this to us, too.
And so, we also live in an age where people feel a strong passion to post about their lives online. This is how they represent themselves. This is how they share their lovely and wonderful and filtered lives—should anyone be watching. For many people, an empty feed feels (and looks) like an empty life. What happens then is you find people posting pics of everything and anything: food, pets, projects, persons.
For the most part, this is no big deal. This is how people stay connected and share their lives with people.
However, when it comes to sharing the most intimate details of our life, like our relationships, could sharing too much be a sign that's something's actually wrong? Read on to find out.
Everyone has at least one couple on their social media feeds who just can't stop gushing about their love.
This is the couple who posts perfectly-filtered pics of themselves doing anything and everything.
Went on a date? PSLs selfies! Leaving for work? Selfie for the road! Got the mail... selfie!
Every activity, no matter how small, is another opportunity to remind the world how happy they are together.
But are they really that much happier than the couples who post less?
You'd think so with all those smiley selfies and posts about how so and so made burned bagels and this reminded so and so how lucky they are to be in this relationship... and you should probably be really jealous, right?
Here's the thing, though: People who are constantly confirming their happiness tend to be the most unhappy of all.
There's actually a correlation here.
People who are actually content in their relationships post less.
Why?
There are a lot of reasons for this. Let's start with the fact that when you are really happy, you are really engaged in the moment. You're not thinking about posting, you're thinking about the present moment.
You're experiencing the happiness instead of trying to capture it for others to compare their happiness to. This isn't to say people post with the intent to make others feel bad, but rather, they post to make themselves feel better. If your feed is full of you and your partner smiling, laughing, and doing everything together, how could you possibly feel insecure? Isn't this what #goals is? Short answer: no, it's not. #Goals is living life together, not posting about life together.
You're also not thinking about bringing other people into the relationship's ups and downs. You deal with your drama offline because you know this is best.
Happy couples don't care what Aunty Sally thinks about so and so not coming home on time or forgetting to take the recycling out. In fact, they keep that stuff private and move on quickly. If they were to post about this and get everyone's input, the little daily drama would turn into a public forum for opinions. Happy couples know that the more people you bring into a relationship, the more problems pile up.
Happy couples don't need your likes and comments. Seriously, they don't.
Happy couples don't need external validation to feel happy, they just are. They don't base their relationship's success on how others react to it.
They know real life is lived offline. They understand social media has its perks, but documenting every detail of their relationship isn't one of them.
They'd rather spend the time chilling together than posing for pics. More importantly...
They understand social media is a manufactured version of reality.
Their happy couple lives are lived without filters.
But there's no denying there is a pressure to post... and to compare.
When your bestie posts a pic of the flowers her BF brought home, this sets something off inside. Even if you know the two have been fighting or he's never really around, this leads you to think that you deserve flowers too. What a good guy. She's so lucky. Why don't I ever get flowers? These posts that prompt us to compare our relationships can serve up some serious problems: jealousy, sadness, anger, insecurity, etc. Research indicates comparing our lives on social feeds is actually linked to depressive symptoms.
The happiest of couples don't care. They keep their relationship offline and avoid comparisons.
Do you post a lot about your love online? Why or why not? Let us know in the comments!
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