17 Jerks Who Mastered The Art Of Savagery

The holiday season is upon us, meaning the inconsiderate savages who flock to the malls this time each year have come out of hibernation and are primed to ruin another one. It's a shame, because I always thought the holidays had something to do with being jolly or some shit. Apparently, not. Apparently, Christmas means honking at people over who gets the closest parking space. That was "too real," I know. I'll tone it down. The point is, Christmas doesn't come without its share of scrooges. And I just want all you optimistic folk who go gaga over the holidays to be ready for some bah humbuggery. That's what this list is for. Think of it as sort of a primer for what's yet to come.

1. Fitting

2. Damn, Katie, you cold

3. Noted

4. Savage level: fortune cookie

It reads: "You find beauty in ordinary things, do not lose this ability."

5. Nerds will get this

6. This teacher doesn't give a shit about your dog and his appetite for your homework

7. Oh, the horror

8. Harsh, dude

9. He's just getting warmed up

10. A lot of balls for someone who drives a Prius

11. He must get pulled over for no reason a lot

12. Good one

13. Maybe he deserved it

Part of me hopes the tattoo was her name

14. She may look like MJ, but this dude's a smooth criminal

15. Savage

16. Boy, that took a turn

17. Self-aware, at least