15 Pictures Of The Internet In A Nutshell

Alright, folks. Here's something I need to get off my chest because it's been eating at me, keeping it a secret these past ten months. I live on the internet. Phewww! That was tough, guys, apologies. Give me a moment, OK...

Anyway, now that you know, I suppose we can move on. I want to make clear to you all just what it means to "live on the internet." I'm not trying to say I live in your wireless router or that I'm squatting inside your monitor at night, nor do I mean that I'm going to go off the rails on you for referring to me as "he" simply because I look like a man when I really identify as a boat anchor whose chain is just slightlytoo short. Like, just short enough to render it useless for your purposes. Because I give the appearance of being useful but will inevitably just let you down. That's why I identify that way...I'm rambling, apologies again.

I decided to make a list of some of the characteristics and traits that someone who "lives" on the internet might display to help you guys navigate around my home. So, without further ado, welcome, come on in!

1. I'm not saying everyone on the internet has superpowers, BUT most of us wouldeat a seven-year-old microwavable meal!

2. Cats. Pretty much anything cats!

3. We find it pretty hard to leave any joke unjoked, no matter how lame...

4. Internet people REALLY like pranks!

5. He who proofreads most critically wins every argument!

6. Questionable content hidden within socially progressive arguments...

7. More often than not, one or possibly both of these fellows is your hero!

8. All we REALLY want is to help our fellow man! If we can insult Juggalos at the same time, that's just cheesecake!

9. We're chock-full of great romantic advice!

10. Many internet dwellers tend to focus on their...careers first and foremost!

11. For the most part, regardless of what you've done *cough* 9/11 *cough* if you're likeable enough, we'll forgive you!

12. Much like how this is completely accurate, once something is on the internet, it's there forever! (sorry Beyoncé)!

13. If someone says someone said something on the internet, believe it, because that someone definitely said that thing!

14. What we lack in conflict resolution, we make up for spectacularly in passive-aggression.

15. We've secretly all actually been Satan worshipers all along, and have decided that now is our time to rise! KNEEL PEASANTS!