Thursday, December 28, 2017

19 Husbands Who Need It Spelled Out

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I don't know what it is about men, but they take whatever you say and then apply it in the most literal, oversimplified way possible. Whether it's instructions that they don't quite understand or when they reply to "do you want chicken or beef for dinner?" with a simple "yes," it seems to be a common problem. At best, it's cute. At worst, it's downright infuriating. 

For the poor women forever shackled to their lovable little numbskulls, the only thing they can really do is laugh about it. 

1. She asked him to whip the cream, not obliterate it.

Hey, it works, right? I'm actually kinda curious about whether there would be any difference.

After all, some of the best inventions started with someone doing something the wrong way.

2. His idea of "playing with the baby."

No, playing on your iPad doesn't count. I also like how he'sthe one hanging out on the little play mat. 

I think I now know what it was like to be this guy's younger sibling.

3. This poor guy thought you could dry a shirt in the microwave. I wish!

Well, if anyone asks, he could always say those burns are part of the style. Just use a made-up term like "post-distressed" and they'll never know the difference.

4. The wife asked him to pack a bag for the baby -_-

Yeah, yeah, don't give us that look, smart guy. You know what you did here.

Uh... at least the baby won't get a sunburn now? Look, I'm trying for you, dude.

5. How a 6'2" tall man hangs a mirror for his 5'1" wife.

You just know he thought, "Yup, perfect!" as he looked at his handiwork. Yeah, he could've actually figured out a good place for both of them but he's a man of action!

6. He said he left a present on her pillow.

Don't get your hopes up, ladies. At least when cats do stuff like this, they think it's because you can't feed yourself.

I guess nasal strips are still a better gift than a mouse, though.

7. What a romantic hubby.

Even if it's by default, you're still the most important person in the world to him. Yeah, I think that's the best that we're gonna get here.

Well, at least the cake looks nice and yummy.

8. The husband who forgot to put the Nesquik away, even after being asked a thousand times.

Haha, not to worry, kid. Mama may have caught you in the act, but the one who really has to worry is your dad.

9. And the one who *still* won't put the roll back.

Close enough, I guess. And considering that we just pull the rolls out of a drawer in my house, it's really hard for me to judge.

10. He was asked to put spaghetti on the stove for dinner. 

He tried. And if this was his idea of putting it on the stove, we're actually really lucky that he didn't try to cook it.


Yeah, a day without fires is generally a good one.

11. "Sent my husband to buy a baby shower gift bag."

As someone who receives gifts in Christmas bags all year round, this would be a step up! And with such a subtle cover-up, nobody will ever suspect a thing.


12. What is so hard about looking after the baby?!

Apparently, nothing because it's honestly kinda hard to argue with the approach here. 

It's not his fault the baby keeps making the perfect faces for this. Especially once he added that radical dinosaur.

13. To be fair, he followed the list exactly. 

Eh, it's fine, you can never have too much quark. 

And at least now, you can pretend you're on one of those cooking competitions since you've got a bunch of weird ingredients to work with.

14. Then there's this guy, whose priorities look a lot like mine.

And you just know he told her, "Yup, I got everything we need!" when he came back. In my heart of hearts, it is really hard for me to say he's wrong.

15. And this poor guy, whose brain is all but fried from the night shift.

And honestly, he has a point. It's not like we use them to wipe the toilet.

That does it, I'm gonna start calling them "butt papers" from now on.

16. This husband who is playing a very dangerous game.

Like, I don't even understand what possesses people to do this. I guess I'm alone in thinking the end pieces are the best part?

Ugh, he even cut it at a weird angle. This is pretty much an act of war.

17. This guy, whose wife has zero faith in his ability to survive on his own.

If he ever accidentally calls her "Mom," at least we know the reason why. It's a good thing, too, because that really wouldn't be fun to explain at the best of times.

18. His pregnant wife requested frozen yogurt...

I can almost see the internal conflict here. Like, he knows this isn't what she meant but he needs to get his dad-joke practice in.

I guess if he bursts into the house singing "Let It Go," we'll know what choice he made.

19. Finally, this husband who really, really tried.

To be fair, they don't put warnings on the dishwasher! It would be considerate of them to let people know how to prevent the sud flood, right?

No? Everybody else knows not to do this? Haha, of course, I was just testing.

Look, the important thing is that they tried their best.

And they say you shouldn't give out participation trophies. I have a really hard time believing any of these guys would turn one down, let's just leave it at that.

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