1. You almost had it, pal
Try again
2. This is typically when it all goes downhill for me
3. You couldn't be more right
4. Take notes, people. She is the master of avoiding questions she doesn't want to answer
5. Me every Monday
Sometimes my Mondays turn into extended Sundays, in which case my period of metaphorical self-flagellation is pushed to Tuesday
6. Thank you for that, Jeff Cooley.
You have done your country a great service
7. Nailed it!
8. Well, that's embarrassing
9. When your only job is to count to five and you still can't do it
One job!
10. I give the United States permission to be in charge of supplying us with enough average slobs for each event
It shouldn't be hard at all
11. "Let me see your war face"
12. AC ain't gonna save you now
13. Leave it up to the rednecks to build a mobile front porch
14. Four-eyes is going places
I'm calling it
15. From what I hear, this dude has his work cut out for him
16. Jared Leto's too busy buffing his Oscar
17. It's one of the more understandable hobbies I've seen
Good for you
18. Proof
19. Busted!
20. I checked
It's true
21. The obvious response
22. I love irony
23. Well, which is it?
24. Feels bad, man
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