1. You almost had it, pal
Try again
  
 
 2. This is typically when it all goes downhill for me
 
 
 3. You couldn't be more right
 
 
 4. Take notes, people. She is the master of avoiding questions she doesn't want to answer
 
 
 5. Me every Monday
Sometimes my Mondays turn into extended Sundays, in which case my period of metaphorical self-flagellation is pushed to Tuesday 
  
 
 6. Thank you for that, Jeff Cooley. 
You have done your country a great service
  
 
 7. Nailed it!
 
 
 8. Well, that's embarrassing
 
 
 9. When your only job is to count to five and you still can't do it
One job!
  
 
 10. I give the United States permission to be in charge of supplying us with enough average slobs for each event
It shouldn't be hard at all
  
 
 11. "Let me see your war face"
 
 
 12. AC ain't gonna save you now
 
 
 13. Leave it up to the rednecks to build a mobile front porch
 
 
 14. Four-eyes is going places
I'm calling it
  
 
 15. From what I hear, this dude has his work cut out for him
 
 
 16. Jared Leto's too busy buffing his Oscar
 
 
 17. It's one of the more understandable hobbies I've seen
Good for you
  
 
 18. Proof
 
 
 19. Busted!
 
 
 20. I checked
It's true
  
 
 21. The obvious response
 
 
 22. I love irony
 
 
 23. Well, which is it?
 
 
 24. Feels bad, man
 
 
 
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