It's Hard To Hear 'Diet' When You Sing And Cover Your Ears

You know, we always see people cover their ears and go "la la la" in cartoons and movies, but have you ever actually seen someone do that in real life? Maybe I'm just hanging out with the wrong people, but I don't think I've ever seen someone over the age of, like, six genuinely do that. 

I mean, I feel like I've just answered my own question when it comes to why, but it's not like we don't do other childish stuff all the time. Somebody actually doing that without a hint of irony would certainly make the day more interesting, but I guess I haven't seen someone get into the frame of mind where that's the option they go to.

Although, if we did start doing that, these things are probably what we could trace it back to.

1. Really, is there any way to take that other than as a challenge?

I should really ask what I win the next time I do that. I've been showing off my talents for free for far too long.

2. Man, I hate when people snitch on me for things I didn't even do.

But for my phone to do it? Come on, man, I only dropped you in the toilet once. What is this?

3. Yeah, can we just fast-forward until the good part already?

Or at least to the next time we have some tacos?

4. Ah yes, I'm glad to see we both enjoy the finer things in life.

Beware of anyone saying they've got a vintage year, though. I think these things dogo bad at some point, but finding out would involve not eating them, so who knows?

5. As food comas go, that's gotta be a record-breaker.

If we don't know who, where, or whywe are after a 15-minute nap, we're gonna think we're a different species after that.

6. Yeah, the food got together and now they decided they own me.

I said the word "diet" around them once and they all just stared at me like the ending of The Birds.