"Oops, I definitely should have thought about that before I said it": verbal diarrhea.
"I know I shouldn't say it, but I'm going to let it slip out anyway...wow, that was worse than it sounded in my head": the verbal shart.
Yes, we've all experienced these nasty moments because, after all, better out than in, right?
1. It's either that or a dishwasher
Maybe this guy is an automobile connoisseur, but I know I shouldn't talk since my mode of transportation is the bus. Come to think of it, I don't even have a dishwasher.
2. And speaking of buses, right you are, Margaret
Also, I think I'd rather take a bus than try and jam 10 people into a New York City taxi. Sounds like UberFacts just has something against taxis...
3. Words of wisdom from the mouths of babes
This kid's right! I'm sick of people treating the Earth like a dump! However, as much as I agree with this sentiment, I should state that there are also advantages to keeping Uranus and your anus clean as well.
4. The outfit does have a baked potato type look to it...
Girl, you look hotter than a baked potato! Girl, you're tastier than reheated leftovers! Okay, admittedly, the last one wasn't that great, but points for effort.
5. Someone had to ask
Some people just look like cartoon characters. For instance, a number of people have told me that I bear a close resemblance to Gru from Despicable Me. But this is straight up uncanny.
6. We were all thinking it. Looks like a big helping of NOPE!
This gumbo looks more like a forensic excavation of a Louisiana swap than something I'd want to eat for dinner... I'll pass on the gumbo tonight!
7. This kid is the best kind of savage
There's nothing more relaxing than not giving a crap about other people's crap. There's nothing more freeing than saying, "I don't care." This is one wise kid.
8. We've all thought it at some point...Every. Single. Day.
You won't get any fake congratulations from Kevin!
9. It's not an insult or anything.
I'm serious! Rick James was a very beautiful man! I'd kill to have his bone structure, and the dude could certainly rock some eyeliner!
10. Mom always taught you honesty was the best policy
Aren't kids just the best?
11. It's time someone spoke out
Just a foot-long turkey with extra mayo and a side of LIES! For far too long, the missing inch has been swept under the rug in an attempt to hide this ugly truth! But the people deserve to know!
12. Someone had to tell her
It's always tough breaking the news to someone that the person they're seeing is a lying scumbag, but at least you get to plot revenge and hate-eat Ben and Jerry's with them.
13. I'd consider ghosting those calls until they stop for good.
It looks like damn snail covered in tar just crawled across your eyelid. Less of a cat eye, more of a snail trail.
14. With a price tag like that, electrolytes are not enough!
Unfortunately, it barely even cures my hangovers, let along repairs all the other terrible choices I made the previous night. Also, it kind of just tastes like dirty swimming pool water...
15. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it
Growing up, this is always what my mom said to me. And this is also why my mom and I don't talk very much.
16. Well, you heard the man!
Everyone spent all four years wondering one thing, and now hey finally get the answer they've been waiting for.
17. Get Out changed everything
Keep your eyes peeled, man. If you see any deer heads mounted on walls, that's your cue to get the hell out of there! And keep that lanyard close to you at all times!
18. You gotta love those truths from the mouths of babes...
The best thing about kids isn't that they're brutally honest. It's that you can convince yourself their opinions don't matter!
19. Aren't we all
I don't want to actually meet up, I just want the compliments.
20. Yikes, that's a tweeting war you don't want to get in the middle of
To be fair, I kind of see where they're coming from. I don't walk a whole lot, but I sure wouldn't want someone cutting off my legs and deep-frying them.
21. You've got to appreciate when someone asks a question that is both hilarious and too real at the same time
It's okay. I also had a sensible chuckle while feeling uncomfortable. Sometimes, good humor does that!
22. If you're not following Chrissy Teigen, you probably should
You're telling me the top five contestants out of all 50 states just happened to be blonde, blue-eyed clones of each other? This looks like a Tommy Hilfiger ad from the '90s.
23. No, seriously though, follow her!
Trust me, if you want to be endlessly entertained with the most honesty and the most shade on the internet, @chrissyteigen is the place for you!
24. Whoever wrote this sign has some difficult children.
25. A very honest analogy for all us embittered souls
26. Hmmm, there's something wrong here, if only I could put my finger on it...
In actuality, this is Helen Keller's quote. It's metaphorical, people, jeez! Props to Helen. Among her many accomplishments, it appears she was also trolling us all before trolling was even a thing!
27. I'm sure even Stevie wouldn't make this mistake...
Call me crazy, but a black dress and a peroxide kit do not twins make. Anyways, trust me, you're beautiful and you're all better off looking your own age!
28. Don't say he didn't warn you!
You can't argue with an honest dishonest man.
29. It's not bragging if it's the truth, right?
30. It's important to be honest about your desires
No abs will ever be on the same level as frosted strawberry poptarts
31. Now let me be honest. This one is a keeper
This girl's Tinder game is off the hook. If we all took a lesson from her Tinder would be a much different and better place!
32. I'm looking at you, Becky in Psychology 101
It doesn't help that you're wearing fake nails and rattling the ice in your damn cold brew every two seconds! How am I supposed to focus on the lecture and my online shopping with all this distraction?!
33. Alrighty then, just friends it is...
There's no mistaking what this person is putting down.
34. Thanks for clearing that up for me, Mom
Think of it as payback for all those times you ran your mouth as a kid!
35. Alas, if only... Most of us wish it were a parody account
In fact, most of us wish that the "Meninist" movement as a whole was just one giant joke. Oh wait...it kind of is...
36. Give credit where credit is due, especially when you're dealing with this legend
Nothing is more annoying than when you rock a look only to have it ripped off and credited to someone else. We're looking at you, Urban Outfitters!
37. They're probably not wrong
As someone who's constantly maxing out their credit card, I can tell you that date night can be a very delicate balancing act. Also, what the heck is wrong with chicken fingers?! Classy AF if you ask me!
38. I think we can all agree that the new bitmoji map Snapchat update is the devil
Not only is it a breeding ground for stalkers, but my contacts can actually see when I'm stalking them!
39. That's some interesting logic you've got there...
Let's cut her some slack, not everyone is good with numbers. That's what accountants and calculators are for! On a side note, this is just more proof that the internet is making us dumber.
40. Sometimes, pictures are better than words
Ahh, it's refreshing to see the type of literacy the internet encourages.
It appears the pheasant has rung up a whole lot of debt, and he may be getting his tail feathers repoed sometime soon!
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