When my husband and I first started dating, I would make him blare his music to drown out any chance of hearing me peeing. Almost a decade later, he's lucky if I shut the bathroom door.
Point is, over time, you become so comfortable you get borderline bored.
Cue embarrassing spouses.
1. Okay, so maybe she doesn't always make smart choices.
But I'm sure once upon a time the fact that he would even think of buying the dog jeans made her swoon, didn't it?
2. Babies can't call 911!
SMH man, SMH. You have one job here, one job. Literally all you have to do is get her to someone who knows anything more than you do, and she'll be golden.
3. Hubby just lost his Elf on the Shelf privileges, forever.
Now, either hubby has a really sick sense of humor that shouldn't be allowed anywhere near children OR he's a genius who just drove himself out of Elf on the Shelf duty indefinitely.
4. "My husband asked my gynecologist if he was a Texas Longhorn..."
The cringe factor's high here, friends. I mean, why do husbands feel the need to make every interaction into a joke?
Oh wait, I see it now...
5. ...and each one is completely legitimate!
Ummm...trying to embarrass her by publishing this online is kinda embarrassing to your entire relationship. I mean, this woman needs some biscuits now, bro. Go, go, go!
6. Even Prince Phillip knows how to have a little fun.
"Oh, Phillip!" And then you can just hear his stifled laughter.
The look on the queen's face is absolutely meme-worthy. I deem this embarrassment justified!
7. She agreed to put on this saucy number only if he did first.
Checkmate. Your move.
*Immediately uploads to every social media site to see what the internet thinks of her husband*
8. "Heard my husband telling the dog to stay still in the kitchen, walked in and this greeted me!"
"My what a cute face you have all of a sudden! And those eyes! That foot... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY HUSBAND?"
9. Leave them alone for two seconds...
Dude, if you don't find this hilarious, I think YOU might be the reason why she doesn't go out with you. Anyone getting a Little Mermaidvibe?
10. "I just walked into my husband's office to find him like this."
Me as his wife: I think "office" is a highly overused term these days, don't you?
Other me as his wife: HE'S NOT EVEN PLAYING A SPIDER-MAN GAME.
11. When he's supposed to watch the baby and gets distracted by baby toys.
They really are fascinating, aren't they? All those colors and shapes and YOUR BABY IS ABOUT TO ROLL AWAY, BRO.
12. The dog's natural body language suggests this isn't the first time they've done this while her husband was away.
He's probably even the one who bought her those pearls... You can't trust a pug, you know.
13. "Wife tried a baby bell for the first time. She's not a fan."
But like, did you tell her to peel it first or did you just let her go and ruin a perfectly good Babybel?
14. "'That's a really cool looking rhinoceros' – my husband at Legoland."
Despite the massive anatomical differences, he's not THAT far off. You know, except for by millions of years. I give him an A for effort, actually.
For every wife of a sports fan: there is a shirt that's just as embarrassing as cheering for any team who catches the ball. This one's for you.
16. When he uses your favorite show against you.
When Bob Ross gets involved, you know it's about to get embarrassing in here. But in all honesty, doesn't that smile just make everything great again? #win
17. Those things that make you bury your face in your hands.
You told him to take this seriously; he tried his best (he promises). You ask him if he thinks this is funny and, well, you can still hear him laughing.
18. "My wife was not impressed with her birthday gift..."
Her (secretly asking for a puppy): I want something fuzzy and soft to look after...something I can love...
Him: Say no more, sweetie.
19. When your wife sees your browser history.
The ultimate embarrassment! I don't need anyone seeing what I search for late at night, early in the morning, or in the middle of a major meltdown...
20. "My wife got our daughters matching shirts."
I don't think she thought this through, but to be fair, the shirt being sold in bulk the first place doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
21. His pregnant wife sent him out for frozen yogurt.
First, I'd send his butt back out for the proper goods because ain't no man gonna play me like that. Second, I'd sit down and have a solid laugh at the man I married (but he can never know this, of course).
22. "My wife was all, 'You gotta help me get things ready for the baby.'"
The dad jokes run strong right from conception all the way until Mom's begging for them to stop.
23. "I've heard of 'painting yourself into a corner' but my wife took it a step further. I don't even know..."
Wifey's doing a great job becoming the millionth person to fully fix a floor and then successfully destroy it in one move.
24. "Caught my husband red handed... Thought he was working out."
That look on his face though, just priceless. This is a man who knows his wife loves him enough to blast him online but not take his toy away. *Smiles*
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