Before we start, I should make it clear that this article is for humor purposes only. As my girlfriend can confirm, I'm probably the last person you want to take shopping advice from.
That being said, I know a hilarious or straight-up awful product when I see it! So if you plan on hitting up the deals on Black Friday, you might want to avoid these things.
1. This pet shampoo that can apparently turn your dog pink!
Poor li'l pupper! Well, for all I know, this could be photoshopped, but people wouldn't lie on the internet, would they??
2. This horrifying baby buggy cart!
I mean, I think it's pretty awesome, but again, this is why most people don't let me buy gifts for them. At least they'll get aheadwhile they're young!
3. This candle that probably nailed down the worst scent imaginable.
You don't even have to be familiar with Jeremy's...uh, "works," to know that this is not going to be appealing.
4. This everyday tin can...for just $1,000!
I definitely thought this one must've been made up by some wiseguy on the internet, but no! I can actually confirm this is real.
5. This side table that has us stumped.
What better place to set your $1,000 tin can on than a $200 stump of wood? There's no way you could make thaton your own.
6. Those cheap little wrist slap bracelets!
I used to go nuts for these as a kid, but now I've learned what's inside. The secret's out! You can just make these yourself.
7. This Nicholas Cage pillow with an interesting choice of words.
Sure, I love Nic Cage just as much as the next fan of overacting, but something about sleeping with this just seems wrong.
8. This specialty tea — always read labels carefully.
If you need this kind of thing, there ya go! But if you're just looking for decaffeinatedtea, make sure you don't mix up the labels!
9. This "shoe" that shows why we prefer actually being in the store, sometimes.
Online shopping is kinda like life and/or a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.
10. The do-nothing workout routine that gets results.
Sure, those results may be nothing more than an uncomfortable imprint on your belly, but what are you supposed to do? Actually exercise?! Pffff!
11. These batteries that finally provide the look you're going for if you're incrediblyextra.
Don't get caught looking like a chump with regular old AA batteries! Gussy them up a bit... Sure.
12. Thousands and thousands of fidget spinners.
Talk about putting all your eggs in one basket! There's catching a trend and then there are bad decisions. This poor shopper did the latter.
13. Pretty much anything from this flyer.
Though, enchanted mayonnaise does kind of sound appealing. I wouldn't mind an invitation to that bar mitzvah, either. But the printer is where I draw the line!
14. This spin on a classic game that's sure to thrill no one.
Imagine the excited look on kids' faces when they get the chance to compete for who goes first!
15. The hat that snaps! Smh, no. Just no.
I mean, yeah, sure, you can now finally combine your love of photography with your amazing fashion sense — but can you pull off this look?!
16. The product that apparently makes anything into a sandwich.
As ridiculous as this is, I bet you know at least one person in your life who would totally use these!
17. This incredibly marked-down sweater.
I can't say for certain, and I don't even really want to make a guess as to why this was marked down so much. Let's just avoid it.
18. Also, look out for the opposite! Like how this company marked this piece up just before Black Friday!
Like, that kinda defeats the whole purpose of a sale, doesn't it?
19. The only product bringing a bit of decency to your garbage.
Yeah, and while we're at it, how about we buy a really nice dress shirt for the laundry machine?
20. This toothpaste that you can give to your annoying friend who's always shouting, "Pickle Riiiick!"
I don't know what "pickle fresh" means, exactly. And at this point, I'm too afraid to ask.
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