What Different Types Of Poop Actually Mean

Everybody poops and everybody secretly wonders about their poop. If you haven't, then you probably are now. Your poop says a lot about you: your diet (obviously) but also your lifestyle and your overall health. The most important information about one's health can be the most difficult to find because people get all shy and don't ask the right questions. In this list, the legwork (or butt work) has been done for you. You're welcome.                           

Poop Of Gold

The most majestic poop possible: if you're not having it, you haven't read this list and learned its wise ways around the bowl.

That "S" Shape BS Is Just That, BS

There was an Oprah episode that told the women of America that their poop needs to look like a Superman logo. This is not the case. If you see the below-pictured shape in your bowl tomorrow morning, pat yourself on the back. You done good, kid.

When Did You Become A Rabbit?

These are not a great sign but something you can deal with nonetheless. Grab a glass of water, mix in a bran muffin and bob's your uncle!

Go With The Flow Isn't Always A Good Thing

This issue is the other end of the spectrum from Bunnypoopville in the previous image. This is the express poop: full speed ahead, it passes through you so quick, it doesn't have time to calm the hell down and become a reasonable turd. This is due to infection, a sudden increase in dietary fiber and stress.

Dat Stank 'Tho

If you've been trying to lose weight, this is a problem you're going to have to deal with (or already are). If your fat is leaving as it's entering, without making any stops, this is going to be a problem. The sacrifices peeps make for weight loss.

The Thin Brown Line

Ok, so this is easily the scariest one on this list. A thin poo means an obstruction and an obstruction means you may have a big problem. Don't ignore your pencil poop. Ask questions. Never let a thin poop pass without an interview.

Like A Rock

There is such a thing as "too tough" when it comes to your number two. Water intake is a big part of this, as is medication and whatever may be constipating you. Find a way to get those crisp, cool glasses of H2O into your bod each day and reap the benefits.

Nothing, Zip, Zero, Nula, Nill, Nada, Nope

You're CONSTIPATED! WOOOT! Congratulations. Now, drink the water we've been telling you to drink all this time and get some good ol' fashioned fiber into your diet. This can't last forever without a really big problem on your hands.