Sometimes kids can be downright creepy. On this reddit thread, parents were asked to tell us the creepiest things their young kids have ever said. I expected some funny and strange comments. What I wasn't expecting was just how utterly TERRIFYING some of these things are. This might be making me second-guess the whole having a baby thing.
After reading this, it's no wonder that scary movies are always full of creepy little kids - kids are FREAKY!
1. This guy needs to sleep with one eye open...
"'Daddy Sleep' then pushing my head underwater at the pool." - evillawnornament
2. I would be moving out of there sooo fast
"While changing my daughter in front of the open closet door, she kept looking around me and laughing. I asked her what was so funny. She said, 'The man,' to which I replied, 'What man?' She then pointed at the closet and said, "The man with the snake neck." I turn around and nothing was there. I'm afraid to look into the history of my house to see if anyone hung themselves in the closet. At least she wasn't scared." - QuagmireDp
3. Omg.
Had to check on him a few times to make sure he was still there." - UnfortunateBirthMark
"I was tucking in my two-year-old. He said, 'Goodbye dad.' I said, 'No, we say goodnight.' He said, 'I know. But this time it's goodbye.'
4. Whaaaaa??
I have never felt so many conflicting emotions about my child." - PikaPikaChick
Because it had a plug in it!
Why did the butt cross the road?
"My daughter is four and has taken to telling nonsensical knock-knock jokes (e.g. 'Why did the Mama cross the road? Because her arms were noodles!'). One day she busts this one out:
5. He's either growing up to be a murderer or a surgeon...
"My noticeably pregnant sister and I were having a conversation at the dining room table. My four-year-old son was also present and asked my sister if there was a baby in her belly. She affirmed. He, completely straight-faced, slid from his chair and headed for the kitchen saying, 'We need to get it out. I'll go get the knife.' I don't even know..." - [deleted]
6. I would have crapped my pants
Then her daughter added in, 'They're our friends, but not the man who crawls on the floor and stands by my bed.'" - darinfjc
Her mom encouraged the idea by saying, 'Yes! The white wolves are protecting us. They are our friends.'
One day she was sitting at the kitchen table and she said, 'Mom. The white wolves aren't bad... they're our friends!'
"My coworker's four-year-old daughter always thought that the rattling of the water pipes in the kitchen cupboards were 'white wolves' and the sound always scared her.
7. It sounds like she was thinking about it all night
The backstory here is I had been sunburned the previous week, and was starting to peel. In my sleep-addled state, however, it was pretty terrifying for a few seconds. I didn't know if I was dreaming, or what was going on." - psalm_69
"I was sound asleep, and at around 6 a.m. I was woken up by my four-year-old daughter's face inches from mine. She looked right into my eyes and whispered, 'I want to peel all your skin off.'
8. Creepy...and then adorable
She is terrified of flies." - [deleted]
At first I thought I'd need to rethink everything I thought I believed about ghosts. Then, I realized 'a guy' was actually 'a FLY.'
I'd go in the room and ask what was the matter. She would point into the empty room, terrified, whispering 'a guy!'
"My two-year-old has been running from rooms screaming lately. The reason is always 'a guy! a guy!'
9. The best part of this is the person who comments next saying maybe she meant to say Batman...
She slept in our bed that night." - falicor
Lamp on bookshelf next to said darkened corner falls off as soon as I turn to look.
'There.' Points behind me at a dark corner of the room.
'What bad man?'
'Bad man.'
"'Why are you crying?'
10. "No...do YOU?!"
"'Daddy, remember that time we died?'" - CtrlShiftZ
11. Well, as long as it's for decorations...
"'Mom, can I have your phone to take a picture of the birds in the yard?'
'Sure.'
'I want to go squish those birds and kill them and hang them on our wall.'
'Ethan!'
'No mom, it's ok. It's just for decorating the house.'" - Ethaxi
12. How can you even respond to that?
Then he makes a point of looking at the clock." - NotTomPettysGirl
He was cuddling with her and being very sweet (he was about three at the time). He takes her face in his hands, and brings his face close to hers, then tells her that she's very old, and will die soon.
"Not to me, but to his grandmother.
13. Creepiest possible suggestion a little girl can give
"My three-year-old daughter stood next to her newborn brother and looked at him for awhile, then turned and looked at me and said, 'Daddy it's a monster...we should bury it.'" - Like_I_was_sayin
14. o.O
'Children. I'd eat children.'" - bonkus
She got very serious and looked me right in the eyes and said:
'If you were a T-Rex, what would you eat?'
I then asked my daughter this question:
He answered: 'I'd chase herbivores!''If you were a T-Rex, what would you do for fun?'
"When my two-and-a-half-year-old and her friend were hanging out, the topic of T-Rex and other dinos came up. I asked her friend:
15. I would be too afraid to turn around
Still haven't gotten over that one and shiver at the memory." - ToastedCheesee
'He's behind you now.'
"'Go back to sleep, there isn't anything under your bed.'
16. I think he needs a little more ventilation
"When I was three I came out of the ball pit and told my mom I was 'sweatin' like a penis.'" - Wyway
17. No. No. No no no. NO.
"When my daughter was around four or five, we lived in a house that had been converted into three separate apartments. We lived in the basement portion. Because of the way they converted the house, there was a small recessed area under one of the stairways that formed a small closet/storage space in her room. One night while she was getting ready for bed I overheard her talking to someone in her room. I poked my head in and asked if she was calling for me. Her words - 'No. I was talking to the little boy who lives in my closet... He's dead.' Insta-chills." - TaffetaDarling
18. Omg. How do you even respond?!
He was maybe five or six years old? It was totally out of the blue..." - surethingsugar
"'Before I was born here, I had a sister, right? Her and my other mom are so old now. They were ok when the car was on fire, but I sure wasn't!'
19. WHAAAT?!? How did he know that??
"My wife was getting my two-year-old son up one morning. He was standing in his bed/crib. As she said good morning and walked over to him, he picked up her shirt a little and crooked his head to the side. She asked him what he was doing and he said, 'Looking for my baby sister in your tummy.' She laughed it off as a weird kid imagination thing. We found out later that at the time she was two weeks pregnant and it was, in fact, a girl. We are due in September. We had never really had the talk about where babies come from nor did we talk about having another child at all around him. So spooky." - Jmersh
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