I'll be honest with you guys: I've never skateboarded a day in my life.
It's not that I didn't like it, because I thought everyone else who did it looked really cool. I just knew myself. Like, you have to have good balance and quick reaction time to be a good skateboarder, and I'd have to be seriously deluding myself to think I've got either.
So, as you might imagine, my skateboarding days basically consisted of playing Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2, but at least I got to be Spider-Man in that, so I felt pretty satisfied.
But if you remember actually skateboarding outside with people, I hope these 24 funny pics give us some common ground.
1. Yeah, a happy Gollum isn't much better than an angry Gollum when he's creeping up like that.
Wherever this roving prankster is now, they're probably wearing sunglasses with "Deal with it!" written on them and are somehow pulling it off.
2. Yeah, it's hard to keep your eye on your cooking when you've gotta hide your phone from the guards.
That's probably why Ramsay didn't totally tear it down. He's grading on a curve.
3. Haha, nothing left to do at that point but grab the popcorn.
By the time it's over, you'll definitely look at their entire families differently.
4. I don't know... if they're committed enough to eat dog food all day, they've earned their spot.
That's a lot of rawhide you've gotta choke down, you know.
5. So, what's the tutorial here, "How to make things awkward for everybody?"
I think a lot of us can just do that naturally, but whatever.
6. Hey, it's not like they put your final grades on the diploma.
I guess they figured charging $200 for a textbook was evil enough. And let's not even get into what you have to pay off when it's all over.
7. For me, this is what it's like until anyone else enters the room.
Then I just pretend I'm totally fine no matter how obvious it is that I'm not. Basically, if I was in a zombie movie, I'd be the guy who gets bitten and doesn't tell the group about it.
8. Hmm, would the food be happy or sad that I'm not eating as much of it?
I know they answer this in Sausage Party but, like, the food probably hasn't seen the movie. Makes you think...
9. "And the craziest thing, the dog farted at the exact same time."
Yeah, that smile doesn't get any less uncomfortable the more you hold it.
Eventually, the only option left is to excuse yourself to the bathroom and then just escape out the window.
10. I don't know, I think he's just looking for his missing hand.
And now he's probably really worried that you're dancing all over it, so well done, there.
And, of course, that only makes people wanna dance more. Sigh, what a vicious cycle.
11. Well, at least I know what I'm being slimed with this time.
I wonder who would be harder to keep under wraps, though? Ghosts or goats?
12. I wonder if there's anything in there about getting your drive-through order wrong.
"And should they ask for extra sauce, I pledge to proudly roll my eyes."
Can't say I really blame 'em with some of the customers they have to deal with, though.
13. Wow, what do you pay your late fees with, gold doubloons?
If it's made it this far, this place is probably still gonna be standing by the time everything's gotten nice and MadMax-y.
By that point, I wonder if they'll actually rent Mad Max and laugh at everything they got wrong.
14. Ah, young love.
I guess she didn't say what they finish each other's sentences with.
15. Seeing this makes me realize that it doesn't matter what a "libera" is supposed to be.
Because whether you're a liberal, a Libra, or a library, I think we can all agree that actually managing to do this is totally rad.
So I guess the question is, who doesn't want this future?
16. Hey, tampering with my mail is a federal offense, Mom.
You're lucky I ain't no snitch, or you'd be in serious trouble right now.
I guess they never said living by the code of the streets was easy.
17. I mean, kicking him out would be like kicking out Stuart Little at this point.
You just can't knock the hustle.
And really, if gravity can't stop him, what chance do the rest of us have?
18. Yeah, this is why it always takes me so long to finish one.
Like, I can totally love a book and it'll seem like someone is forcing me to read it.
And depending on what it is, both of those feelings can totally make sense.
19. I guess it was so difficult that you couldn't even think of a new catchphrase.
Of course, that takes brain power and this hard thing is using all of it up.
And if that hard thing is coming up with a new catchphrase, it's just really not your day.
20. For real, does she think we're bringing three entire football teams along or something?
Well, I guess I won't have to worry about what I'm gonna eat for, like, a month.
21. Yeah, it turns out that stuff that's bad for me tastes really good.
I always wondered why I kept eating it and then feeling really bad about it after. I should really think harder about things before I just call them "life's little mysteries."
22. Well, we were obviously right when we thought it was the recipe for success.
Where's your multi-million dollar movie, Ms. McLahren?
"Yeah, maybe it was your life that was a C-minus all along." Haha, I can say that all I want now 'cause she can't put me in detention.
23. Aww, right during my favorite part of the song, too.
I always felt that it needed a random bloodcurdling shriek to really make the last verse pop.
24. Yeah, I never really got that one as a kid.
Like, we both know how this is gonna end, so why kid ourselves?
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