Or are they? Have you ever considered that the reason you drink is because drunk you is actually better than sober you? Maybe sober you is a boring sac of trash whose only concern is getting up in time to do laundry on Sunday. Whereas drunk you is willing to make friends with homeless people and do fun things in bed with hot dogs (sometimes with the homeless people...jk). With that in mind, here is a tribute to the very best of drunk you!
1. Drunk you has the best taste in food
As a sandwich purist, it must either be all bread or all meat!
2. Drunk you has the best sense of humor
And clearly wants to come back out to play this morning.
3. Drunk you gets what you want
Drunk you also understands that walking a block to the nearest McDonald's is a waste of time that could be better spent getting more drunk and taking selfies with your cat.
4. Drunk you is an amazing gift giver.
Happy Mother's Day!
5. Drunk you knows how to keep your personal belongings safe
Except for that one time drunk you left your wallet in the cab, or flushed your phone down the toilet, or tried to give a homeless man your roommate's new blender.
6. Drunk you wastes not
When a Jell-O shot is spilled, this is the only acceptable action.
7. Drunk you is resourceful AF
And never gives up. You will have that ravioli even if it has a couple of your fingers in it by the time you cook it.
8. Drunk you is a considerate and caring person
Because drunk you actually knows what happened last night, they will always check in to make sure sober you arrived home intact.
9. Drunk you is innovative!
Hopefully, drunk you is also good at putting out fires...
10. Drunk you loves to organize
Literally anything, except your actual life.
11. Drunk you understands that time is a man made illusion that keeps everyone imprisoned
And in order to be free, we must break it.
12. Drunk you never says no to a dare
That's dedication for you.
13. Drunk you is responsible
Sober you probably would have just bought lunch, but drunk you knows the benefits of brown bagging it. Drunk you also clearly understands the benefits of drinking at work.
14. Drunk you is honest
And always remembers to feed the dog.
15. Again, drunk you is responsible
Always remembering to put life's most important events in your calendar.
16. Drunk you thinks ahead
Sometimes even drunkest you needs a reminder from drunk you.
17. Drunk you is talented
And not afraid to share that with the world of social media.
18. Drunk you is all about safety.
Computer charger cords are like death traps when you are 1. drunk and 2. hungover.
19. Seriously, safety always comes first
A couple people got alcohol poisoning, but everyone got a cab!
20. Drunk you always sees the positive side of things
Like, sure, you smell like burrito vomit, but it's not your burrito vomit. Yay!
21. There is always a purpose to what drunk you does
You just don't understand it. Have a couple drinks and you might.
Collage image via 1. reddit / AbstractCeilingFan 2. reddit / wookiebread
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