I've heard it called many things — the last stand, a full-court press, pulling the goalie — but all it is, no matter how you spin it, is you succumbing to desperation after striking out all night trying to score with women who ultimately rejected you. Whether you score in the end or not, it never changes the inevitable feeling of regret you wake up to, or next to, in the next morning.
Sorry if I inadvertently rehashed any dark memories you were trying to forget. Hopefully, this list of desperate people will help you feel less like a piece of shit.
1. Whatever gets you from point A to point B
2. Pizza? You should have said so in the first place
3. College is when desperation is at its worst
4. My point exactly
5. When there's no fridge but the beers have to get cold somehow
6. Think about it
7. Desperate people be getting clickthirsty these days
8. Air Malaysia has run out of options
9. Desperate times at Le Tour de France?
10. Hey, how'd she get up there?
11. All the shits
Every last one of them
12. Maybe they're single for a reason
13. It's for a good cause
14. Applications, you say?
15. The desperation is palpable
16. No, not the balls!
Anything but the balls, sir!
17. Not a single vote was given that day
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