I don't know about you, but I need some mindless laughter after the day I had.
You know those days when every other second, something new goes wrong or someone says exactly the wrong thing? Those days when even the lunch you have is terrible? Yeah, one of those days. So I'll keep this introduction brief.
Be free, laugh away!
1. Broken telephone.
I swear, this is every conversation I have on the phone. "Sorry, you wanted whatfor dinner? Chicken feathers? And you dropped a hippo at work today? Or did you flop a Zippo? Talk at a ripple?"
Eventually, I stop trying.
2. "We have a blue football field. It confuses out of towners."
At first glance, I definitely thought this was a swimming pool. That would be an unpleasant surprise when all I wanted was to practice my swan dive. And do both teams end up completely blue at the end of the game?
3. Um, that's a hard "yes."
But hey, why do you have a fur baby if not to love and spoil it? The other main reason is to take pictures of it doing ridiculous things and posting those on the internet, so this is actually a two-for-one deal.
4. I hear Nelson is an amazing narrator.
*sigh* This happens way too often, and it's pathetic every time. But seriously, don't people properly Google things? I thought just typing your research project topic into Google was the main step of school projects these days...
5. *does a double take*
Now this is a great illusion. It also makes me think of a scary dystopia where people just go around headless and mindless because they poured too much of their souls into social media. No? Just me? Cool.
6. That caption is everything.
If we could actually grow puppers this way, my apartment would be overrun. Never mind growing chives and oregano for cooking. Every single pot would be a pupper pot.
7. The worst.
You just know they're trying to taunt you. This is your consequence for spending way too much money after spending way too many hours shopping online. Good luck with actually trying to get your stuff.
8. I wonder if they have any Jenny-pers!
Ba-dum-TSSS!
But seriously, this would be the only place I'd want flowers from, and I'd want all of them to come with notes. Not sweet, adoring notes from someone who loves me, but just quotes from the movie. And maybe a box of chocolates.
9. Awww, he tried!
"I help hooman. Hooman likes sugar cereal. Sugar cereal makes hooman happy."
He believed those '90s commercials about the magic of French Toast Crunch just a LITTLE too much.
Did these get you laughing? I hope so! Sharewith a friend so they can giggle, too!
10. Groooooan.
As bad as this is, I can definitely see someone from my work bringing this in and slyly just leaving it on the counter. People think they're so clever.
11. I should give these cards to my kids!
Nothing like passive-aggressive parenting, especially when it comes in cute cards. This is what Pinterest was made for, wasn't it? WASN'T IT?
12. This looks like it was hand-carved.
Oooooh, double the pun!
I've got to hand it to this person, though, they deserve a high five for the mastery in this work. Two thumbs up.
13. Smart.
Hey, it's probably better than anything I've done. When I was a kid, I drew swirls all over a piece of paper and claimed it was "the inside of a cow."
14. Ummm... why, hello, there.
Do we really need to know, though? It's like having both a cat and a dog at the same time but only needing to feed and take care of one pet!
15. Always prepared.
You just know that this came out of a giant, bulky purse that used to have tiny toys and granola bars for whenever you needed them. It's the mom purse, and good luck trying to find what you need without her help.
16. "I think I found the cat."
That, or the cat found you. Something about the way she's lurking in those bushes is a bit suspicious... maybe the sign is how she lures in unsuspecting humans to her kitty lair.
17. No, really.
You can't mess with a dog's birthday. Look at those eyes! Are you going to leave this doggo all alone on his special day?
No, because you're not a terrible, heartless monster.
18. So punny.
What do you do when all of your food has become part of the darkest timeline? Do you join them with your own mustache? Or do you stage a paintball war against your eggs?
19. Useless.
Also, does it matter if you're going forward when you hit the pole? What if you're parking, and you're all, "There's no way this pole is a danger to the FRONT of my car. The sign would tell me!"
20. "I'm a server and this was left as a tip. I'm not even mad."
It's not money, but at least you know there's still enough good in the world that a man and his cat can have a photo session in Walmart. And isn't that what we all want?
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