14 Reasons Optimism Will Be The Death Of You

Ever have your Facebook feed flooded with "inspirational" quotes and messages telling you to "stay positive" or "look on the bright side of life?" I don't wanna sound like a downer here, but that's horse-shit! Optimism is good for two things: getting your hopes up, and dropping them down like a carton of eggs you overpaid for. Our culture is so obsessed with maintaining an optimistic point of view that we have to constantly paint on a smile for everyone around us and pretend like we don't know we're all headed straight for the grave. That's right, a one way ticket to Deadville, population: everyone! You think optimism's going to save you? Think again! 

Here are fourteen reasons why optimism is just plain bad for you, like junk food or bathing... 

1. It could end up fueling your alcoholism 

2. You could get in trouble for false advertising 

3. It'll force you to lower your goals and make bad news even worse 

4. You'll come to find that those you looked up to have let you down...

5. It'll be much harder to sell your house in this harsh market

6. You'll let yourself and your friends down 

7. Underestimating your environment can be a dangerous game

8. You'll put others at risk, too! Not everyone is an action hero, stupid sign!

9. You'll be left with an ugly reminder of you undying loneliness 

10. You may find yourself coming up short on your dreams

11. You'll end up waiting around for a longtime

12. You will literally end up dead — so dead.

13. And once you're gone, other optimists will just add insult to injury

14. Because after all, you're just another brick in the wall...

Shut up Daniel, it's not a tiny forest!!!