1. He called customer service
2. Blasphemy
3. I don't trust people who don't drink coffee
4. Preach
5. Shady NSA pies
Baked by the government to infiltrate your home and spy on your family
6. Google can't even trust itself
7. That face you make when your friend makes dubious, unfounded claims about what you did at the bar last night
8. The ol' "blame it on the pet" trick
Classic
9. What did the donuts ever do to you?
10. You'd think grammar would be a requirement for becoming a tutor
11. You don't say?
12. Can't trust advertising
13. The milk is up to no good
14. Well, trusting shoes from China was your first mistake
15. Still not sure what they do here
16. Every parent will eventually learn that their kids shouldn't be trusted with expensive things
17. So much for puppy school
18. Good luck getting into this locker, thieves
19. Even screwing it in didn't work
20. Does no one care about the rules anymore?
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